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DELIVER HIM NOW
an absurdist tragicomedy in 3 acts(plus one bonus
act) with no roman numerals. by Erik and Rain

There is a man (or woman) in a small room standing on a stool and holding a
fish bowl.  His (or her) fish has a name and will be called by that name.  (It
is not Fish!)

MW: Hello Fish.
Fish: Hello sir or ma'am.
MW: Fish, I'm hungry.
Fish: I'm thirsty as well.
MW: Fish, what's your name?
Fish: You cannot eat my name.
MW: You cannot drink  my sex.
Fish: Au contraire!
MW: Pardon. mon fraire?
Fish: To the contrary!
MW: Oh.
	(long pause followed by two short pauses)
Fish: I'm sorry, what did you say?
MW: What's the title of this play?
Fish: Are you speaking metaphorically, harkening back to the statement that all
the world's a stage? I hope so because the suspension of disbelief is really
shot to hell if you start talking about the actual play itself.
MW: I was trying to rhyme  

MW: I was trying to rhyme and "plAy" was the first word that came to mind
rhymed with 	"say".
Fish: Well is this a poem or a play? would you make up your mind?
MW: Shakespeare rhymed!  Moliere rhymed! Dr. Suess rhym--- ahm.   My point is:
it can 	be both!
Fish: Fine.
MW: Since we've already shot "willing suspension of disbelief" to hell, since
all the audience is here unwillingly (i.e. at gunpoint) lets discuss the play. 
It sucks.
Fish: I think the problem is there's only 2 characters.  I wonder what we can
do.
MW: Only hope.
	(suddenly  Woman (or Man(Opposite of First Human, but Really Not Necessary, 
Just Whatever) appears)
WMOFHRNNJW: At last I've found you, now that I've found you I'll never leave,
ever.  	Not even when you die.  That's how I feel, I've never been able to tell
you.
MW:  Well, I'm glad you feel that way.
WMOFHRNNJW: I'm sorry, I was talking to the fish.
Fish: My.  I'm flattered.  You got a lot a pizza in your bread.
WM: That's so touching, you're the first cold-blooded animal to tell me that.
MW: (aside) If only she had been mine.. I wish I were a fish.  I know, I'll
drown myself 	in hopes that I will come back as a fish in my next life.
Fish: Take me away from this man(or woman) just snatch the bowl away.
WM: I cannot.
Fish: And why?
WM: I have no hands.
Fish: Then kneel down and I'll slosh out of this confining bowl into your
beautiful hair that has enough icky goup in it to hold all the water I'll need
to live for the rest of my life.
WM: I cannot risk losing you!
MW: (still aside) I'm going to the seaside.
Fish: no! My life is nothing if not for you.
WM: Come back here!
	ACT 2: at seaside
MW: I'm drowning myself now!
WM: What if I got a bowl and a backpack?
Fish: What if I got a ziplock bag filled with water?
MW: Good-bye cruel world!
Fish: Hello wet world!
WM: Wait for me!
ACT 3: underwater
MW: Glub glub (dies).
Fish: Ahh. Home sweet home, our problem is solved my dear.
WM: Glub glub (dies).
Fish: Well this sucks.
ACT 4: in heaven
WM: Say, you're rather cute.
MW: Why thank you!
[END]