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T'was a beautiful night, late summer '97
We was sitting around about a quarter past eleven
When this ok-looking woman appeared at our flat
Her hair was in need of a cut or a hat
Y'know I might try to get inside her
But that all changed when she saw my cider

She came bardging in demanding proof of age
While I wasn't sure she didn't live in a cage
We offered her a seat and she choose the ground
And made us pass our licenses all around - when
She saw we were legal she seemed a bit depressed
But that didn't distract us from her extremely, malformed breasts

Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen
You're why they had the riots on the hill
Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen
It's a shame your mother wasn't on the pill

As the night wore on we began to get the feeling
That sex with a chicken would be more appealing
Then to debase our minds by talking to her
We couldn't find anything nice as drunk as we were
When she told us how much she loved being an RA
I knew even Jason was considering turning gay

Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen
That last verse was just a figure of speech
Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen
you smelly, ugly, stupid fucking bitch

If you're under 21 and you want to drink
Just close your door when you smell the stink
Of Jen the RA coming to getcha
Even though she'd like nothing better
Then glass after glass after glass after glass of cheap schnapps
But she's 19 herself! Someone should call the cops!

Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen
We know you're not working for the money
Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen
Just the twisted bloated taste of authority

Now gentle listener I don't mean to belabor
The evils of Jen, it's just that we hate her
She spoke of insomnia and we tried to help but
It's obvious she doesn't want to sleep with herself
She'll try to tell you she looks better during the day
Once again I'll mention Jason is not gay

Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen
I don't want to confuse the issue
Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen
But if you were to be dragged from your car hauled out into
the woods with only your clipboard and your addled wits and left
to die while every aspect of your life from credit cards to
identification, past employer references, state and federal
tax information, passports, every damn thing was systematicaly erased
or destroyed while your family recieved intense psychotherapy
and electroshock treatments to erradicate every trace of your
lingering presense from their inbred minds
--meanwhile a troop of boy scouts find your broken body
at the bottom of a canyon, your eyes pecked out by crows and
maggots making their home in your mouth--
I wouldn't miss you